Brenda gave me an assignment to write a letter from Stephenie to myself. I have been avoiding it all week. I know that when I do this it's going to break my heart in a way that I don't want to deal with. But I suppose that's the whole point of therapy. Hurt until the pains goes away. So here goes...
Hey Girl,
I see you, I feel you, and I love you. I know that my absence has been difficult for you, but what you don't realize is that I'm not really gone. I'm still there, right next to you the way I always was. I'm in everything you do and everything you love because you keep me there. You keep my memory alive in your heart and in your stories and in your unconditional love.
I know that you feel like you've lost me, like you've lost your friend and sister, but you haven't. I'm always going to be just as you remember me. You've etched my face and love into your heart forever. You keep me safe there. However, I have lost my friend and sister. You are no longer the girl I love so much. You're so broken and sad. That's not my Tia. My Tia is beautiful and lively. She is the girl that I could always count on no matter what. She was the girl who always had an opinion and could make me see things no one else could. She is the girl who held my hand with so much love during the most painful days of my life. Where is my Tia? Please be that girl again. The girl that everyone loves, the girl I love and the girl you love.
Now that I am freed of my illness, and the pain it caused me, I am able to dance freely in the radiance of God's love. But it's not Heaven if I have to worry about you. Please let your heart heal. Not being devastated every day of your life doesn't mean that you don't love me anymore or that you're forgetting our special friendship. The closeness we shared is unbreakable no matter how many worlds apart we are now.
Take care of my baby. I know he's hurting too. Please get him to open up and heal with you. You both deserve it and it's what I want. Please let my love heal you.
I love you, girl. Always, forever, and then some. <3
Love,
Steffy Weffy
