Blue.
Blue is the color of the eyes Steff loved so much - Derick's eyes. The eyes that her heart used to get lost in, are now lost them self. When I look in his eyes I can feel his pain. The anguish is so apparent and it absolutely devastates me.
Derick's eyes have always been this bright, brilliant, beautiful blue. They reflected everything he is, or at least everything he was. Lately they've had this hazed look over them, dimming their true beauty.
It's not just in his eyes, it's in his words too. When he talks about her you can hear him trying to keep his words steady, although, he rarely can. He is lost without her. As much as he tries to keep on moving, his poor heart is broken.
He and Stephenie enjoyed and suffered so much during the course of their young love. He is going though what most people don't usually go though until they are well into their life. But not Derick. He lost her, the girl he loved more than himself, and now there is a void in his life where she used to be.
Everything reminds him of her, and with the holidays here, it's making it worse. Last year he and Steff were in the hospital. He never left her. No one like spending time in the hospital, let alone on Christmas, but Derick wanted to be with his girl on Christmas. Since he couldn't bring Steff home for Christmas, he brought Christmas to Steff. I believe it was special for them, even if the circumstances were less than ideal.
This year he told me that he wants to spend it at home - alone. I can't wrap my head around that. I try to remember that what's best for his healing process isn't going to be the same as what's best for mine.
Hey, try to help D understand it's okay to celebrate joyful moments without Stephanie's physical presence. That although she isn't here physically, she is spiritually. I bet she wants to see him enjoying these special days with a smile. I know it's not your decision, and if he turns you down, always leave the door open.
ReplyDeleteRemember that the greatest gifts are the ones that don’t cost anything: time with those we love, the freedoms we enjoy in this country and the ability to help others.
You've always had that natural ability to help others and do it selflessly and unconditionally. If there were anyone I'd want around me when I was feeling lost, it'd be you Tia. Your energy and brightness shine on those around you and you have the ultimate ability to bring smiles to their faces. You're a gift and you shouldn't be hesitant to give yourself to those in need of you this year.