When I was a little girl someone told me that tears were a gift from God to wash away all the pain. As a child, I found comfort in this notion. It made sense to my fragile heart because I always felt better after I cried. Lately nothing works. Sometimes it feels as if though I'm going to run out of tears I cry for you so often. Why can't the tears wash away the pain of not having you anymore? Why?!
I keep trying to make sense of it all. But the more I try to analyze it and find a reason that I can accept, the more frustrated I get. Apparently grief can make you believe things have a reason when they don't. There was no reason for you to die - especially not in the vicious way you did. There is no lesson to be learned. It just is what it is. All I can do is say Fuck Cancer!!! and even that doesn't help. It just makes me feel better to have something to blame I guess. I miss you so much. My heart aches for you, Steff.
I miss your pretty face. I miss your contagious laugh, I miss your friendship. I miss your understanding demeanor. I just miss you - everything about you. What I would give for you to interrupt me (I never thought I'd miss that and yet somehow I do) just one more time.
Your memory is a keepsake from which I’ll never part, God has you in his arm, and I have you in my heart!
Love you, girl. <3
When someone you love is gone, you don't just miss the things you loved about them, you miss everything. I keep trying to understand in a positive light but it's so hard, because when I read this, I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteLove you..