Nothing is Special Without a Memory

There is a saying that I'm sure you've all heard - "Money can't buy happiness". But apparently it sure can ruin happiness. In the last few weeks there has been a lot of back and forth arguing over Steff's things. Things that were important to her - things that she loved - things that at the end of the day are still just things!


To me what makes something special is the memory of the person they were a part of.  The things you did in/with them or the reaction on their/her face when she saw it for the first time. Perhaps the hassle of driving all around town on Christmas Eve to find that last pink camera in the city, just to bring a smile to her angelic face. Her stuff is only valuable because she made them important to her, therefore important to us. Without the memories that surround them, they are just jewelry, clothes, shoes, bags, blankets, sun glasses, bathing suits et cetera.

Personally, I can't wrap my head around something of material value meaning so much to someone, especially when it had nothing to do with their relationship with her. But then again, that's not the way I was raised. I was taught to value the person and the memories created with them over material things.
The things that I hold the most special to my heart are my memories of her. Of course I love looking at pictures of her and remembering those days we spent together. I like to wear the ring that she gave me (that couldn't have cost more than $7). One of my favorite pairs of shoes are not even ones she gave me, but as soon as she saw them on my feet, she had Derick buy them for her. Now every time I wear them I think of her. I think of how big her eyes got when she saw them and how excited she was when she got to have them for herself.

If all of these things were gone, the memories wouldn't be. No one can take those from me. I'm aware of the fact that some people only have superficial relationships; therefore they have to hang on to material things in order to remember someone. But the things that were acquired during that relationship should stay within that relationship. My feelings on this matter are strong. It's sad to me that something that was never theirs in the first place is expected to be handed over just because they share her blood.

Blood isn't the only thing that makes someone family. Love is what makes you family. And I don't care what anyone says, Derick was Steph's family just as much, if not more so in some ways, then blood relatives. He loves her in a way that no one else can. And when it really came down to it, she always picked him over anyone and anything. I believe that she would be furious with the way certain things have been handled and the way certain people have treated him since she died.