Smile

The last month has been exceptionaly difficult for me. Losing Steff is by far one of the greatest sorrows my heart has ever known. I thought that perhaps writing my feelings out, would be my own personal therapy and also a way for you all to know that girl that I love so much.

Forgive me if my thoughts run off in several directions. It's hard to keep pace when your heart is in pieces.

There are days when I wake up and the first thing I think of is her smile. That beautiful, genuine smile that brought me so much comfort. No matter how much she was hurting, emotionally or physically, she smiled. She smiled through the pain. She smile through the fear. She smiled to see me smile. And I will always love her for that.

Today was one of those days. Fridays aren't as happy without her. I used to know that on Fridays I could go and see her for as long as I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about getting home and getting to bed in time for work the next day. Now I just look at her picture on my desk and remember the Fridays that I spent with her and the smiles she brought me.

Even in her physical absense, she still makes me smile. Tears come to my eyes when I think about how many times she made me laugh until my stomach hurt. That was one of her greatest talents.